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Euphemism: Death by ~MoxCow:iconMoxCow:



“Dear sir, I am sorry for your loss. However, now that your mother has passed, we must deal with the estate,” Dr. Serok told him, rubbing his hands together. Ryan turned toward the doctor.

“Excuse me, sir? My mother just bit the big one and you’re actually sitting here trying to rake in your share? You know what my late father once told me? He said ‘Don’t let ‘em play you.’ Are you playing me, doctor?” Ryan asked, reaching to the gun tucked into his belt.

With a surprised look, the doctor raised his hands. “Listen Ryan, I meant nothing of the sort. I was just trying to get the difficult part out of the way.” Dr. Serok knew better than to antagonize Ryan.

“You know, this brings to mind a story about my uncle. He croaked a while back, but there was this business man who wouldn’t leave him alone. The businessman was a nice guy, but the thing about him, the thing that eventually made him give up the ghost, was that he was annoying. Do you follow my point, doctor?” Ryan asked him, smiling what looked to be a pleasant smile, except if you knew him, then it was a frightening smile.

“Ryan, if we just got this out of the way you wouldn’t ever have to see me again,” the doctor told him, clearly scared but persistent enough that he pushed just a little more. That was never wise with Ryan.

“I see, shitface, that you do not follow my point. Maybe I shrouded my words with too much obfuscation. Listen, dumbfuck, I’m gonna cut loose,” he said, pulling the pistol from his belt, “and waste you. You know, this reminds me of another story.” He stopped for a moment and thought about his words. After a time he nodded. “It’s about a man. His brother kicked the bucket in accordance with my father’s wishes. His wife left him to rot in hell, and he had nothing but greed to keep him going. So what did he do?” Ryan asked. Dr. Serok stayed silent.

“He embezzled thousands and went to college. He went to college for a long time, and finally he got himself a hard-earned degree. A doctor. And what happened? He worked for a hospital, and he made a good bit of money. He was greedy though,” Ryan told the doctor, getting a little closer and lowering his voice. “He was busy spending all his time trying to get as much cash as he could, but one of his patients needed help, and he wasn’t there. Then another in the same week, and when they had both cashed in their chips, the doctor lost his license. The lawsuits piled up. All that money, gone.”

Putting his arm around the doctor, looking all the world like he trying to comfort, Ryan spoke even more quietly, “The doctor had to take out a few loans. He had to keep quiet about that. Do you understand? He didn’t. You know what happens at the end?”

The doctor was pale and shaking. An arm held him close to the gangster, cutting off any escape. “He checks out. Somebody takes care of him. You had your chance to let it go Serok. You really did. I see you won’t give it up. I’m gonna have to do you in. Looks like you’re gonna take a dirt nap.”

From Dr. Serok’s eyes a tear streaked down, and Ryan bit his lip in grief. The barrel nestled under the doctor’s chin. Unnoticed by Serok a man had come from behind him and held a towel behind his head. Ryan squeezed the trigger and the doctor slipped from his grip. Wiping a tear on his sleeve, the gangster unscrewed the silencer and stowed the gun in his belt once more.

“My poor mother,” he said to the bringer of the towel. “I hate to disrespect her and my father like this. My friend, please take the deceased away. He might start leaking greed onto the carpet.”
©2007-2009 ~MoxCow
:iconmoxcow:

Author's Comments

It was late and my mind was fuzzy. This popped out after reading the wiki entry on euphemisms for death. The goal was to mention death as many times as possible while still having it make sense, yet never actually say 'dead' or 'death'.

Comments


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:iconstarsweptspunk:
This is fantastic. I love the way you did it. Short simple paragraphs, made it seem shorter but yet still keeping them long enough for a purpose.

Also this really stood out right at the end
"My friend, please take the deceased away. He might start leaking greed onto the carpet."
I love it, the idea of worrying about spreading greed and doing pretty much anything to make sure it doesn't happen.. just superb.

--
*..Will you ever learn that I'm [perfect] in my dreams?
:iconmoxcow:
I'm surprised it came out any good, since I was really tired when it was written. Thank you.
:iconstarsweptspunk:
Anytime, I really enjoyed it:)

--
*..Will you ever learn that I'm [perfect] in my dreams?
:iconevergreenrose:
I found it hilarious :). You've definately achieved the goal of using as many euphamisms for death as possible, to the extent that it took on a comic aspect. Loved it, lol.

--
Life is creation; creation is life.
:iconmoxcow:
While I didn't originally intend it to be comic, it seems to have turned out that way. Thanks for the comment and fav. :)
:iconcelestial-seraphiman:
Perhaps you could have tried adding a few more statements in the narration to further flesh out the characters. This is still a good start.

--
I'm sorry, but I have now left DeviantArt. You can still see what's on my profile page if you'd like.

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May 1, 2007
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